Don't forfeit the future of your sons and daughters just for the sake of realizing your "dreams." Fathers and mothers who would rashly emigrate to America should carefully consider the actual merits and drawbacks of immigration for their children.
Hello everybody, I'm very happy to have this chance to join this literature forum. As a Chinese male who grew up in America, I'd like to share with everybody, especially parents, the negative effects of immigrating to America in a child's early years. Hopefully this will encourage future parents planning on moving to America to reconsider what giving up a Chinese upbringing and background for their kids would entail, the long term problems this would create, and then act from there.
For many years now, moving to America has been the life long dream of Chinese parents. These parents believe that America's air is good, the quality of life high, people make lots of money, and most importantly, that it has better prospects for their children's future than China. As a result parents sacrifice everything, stinting on no expenses to take their kids to America, or even giving birth directly in America. In this way their children can obtain American passports, and from birth become the long desired "American." Countless Chinese parents believe that due to their kids' young age, they would have a strong ability assimilate, and growing up in America would afford them countless beneficial experiences and opportunities. "For the children's future" has been one of the primary reasons for Chinese families to immigrate.
多年以来，移民到美国是中国父母一生的梦想。这些父母认为美国空气好，生活水平高，收入高，和最重要的，对孩子的未来比在中国好。所以尽早想不惜一切地把孩子带到美国，或者直接来美国生更好。这样孩子直接能获得美国护照，从出生那天就升华为梦寐以求的 “美国人”。无数的中国父母认为孩子因为年龄小而适应能力强，在美国长大一定会享受无数的色彩和发展机会。 “为了孩子的未来” 被中国家长当作最重要的移民原因之一。
However after many years of pondering and training, I have discovered that the vast majority of Chinese parents who decided to take their kids to America had no clue as to what American culture, or Western culture in general, was actually like. Nor did they have any idea what kind of negative effects growing up in such a culture would have on Chinese kids, and the huge impact it would have on their future sense of belonging, self worth, networking, and career prospects. I myself moved with my parents at the age of 7 from Shanxi province to eastern America, grew up there, and became intimately familiar with American culture. Upon reaching adulthood I worked with all my power to recuperate and patch up my Chinese to share with you all views of an ambitious and hardworking 30 year old. That is, before rushing to move to America, parents should further and deepen their understanding what the actual choice of emigrating means for their children, using empirical observations. Too many Chinese parents just look at China's many problems with corruption and malpractices, and believe that if they just move to America, every problem will just magically sort itself out, once and for all. But in reality, the truth is far more complicated than what these parents could imagine, and far more miserable as well.
First off, Chinese parents itching to move to America, for the most part, have no idea as to the manner and attitude with which American society treats Chinese immigrants, nor the status which Chinese will possess in America. Due to their belief that because China's air is polluted, the education system stressful, regional discrimination rampant, civil behavior lacking, and various other reasons, a sense of yearning for America permeates them. Their understanding and knowledge of America is very limited, usually coming from their Chinese friends, the internet, the TV and other unofficial channels or hearsay. However this type of information is one sided. Chinese parents don't hear about the kind of suffering, unfair treatment, and daily discrimination which shadows everyday life for Chinese immigrants. As for Chinese who grew up in America, the ABCs, or American Born Chinese, and the true circumstances of their lives, they have even less understanding of. So by what foundation do Chinese parents decide with such conviction that if only their children became "American," they would "definitely benefit more than they suffer?"
首先，着急移民美国的中国父母，大多时候，对美国社会对华裔的态度和待遇一窍不通。他们执着地认为，中国空气污染，教育系统压力重大，地域歧视泛滥，风俗不健康，人们普遍素质欠佳，等等原因造就了他们对美国的浓厚向往。他们对美国的知识和了解很有限，一般都是从其他中国朋友，网上，电视等等渠道听到的。但是这种信息来源是片面的。中国父母听不到美国华裔遭受的苦难和不公等待遇，各种日常生活之中的歧视。关于美国长大的 ABC （译注：ABC是指American Born Bhinese，意思是在美国出生的华人）的生活真相他们更从来没接触过。所以中国父母有什么依据来一味，执着地认为让子女变成“美国人”就一定对他们将来利大于弊呢？
To be honest, I seldomly, actually never, see ABCs personally step out and tell Chinese parents how they felt about growing up in America. This is probably because most of the Chinese kids who grew up in China typically don't understand much Chinese, since they were educated with American kids from a young age, through elementary school, middle school, high school, and lacked a Chinese friendly environment. Even if they dutifully attended weekend "Chinese school" to learn their mother tongue, it's not enough. Steadily they lose their Chinese language, so that even when they look Chinese, they cannot speak one lick of Chinese. These ABCs have no way to effectively communicate with their parents, much less express their true emotions on how it felt growing up in America. Rather, because Chinese parents don't hear their children's inner thoughts, they truly believe their kids all live spectacular lives, and that they've blended fully and seamlessly into America's mainstream white society.
But ABCs in America on average don't really live the comfortable lives Chinese parents imagine. Just because most ABCs don't communicate their thoughts with the parents doesn't signify a superior lifestyle to kids who grew up in China. True, ABCs don't have to breathe China's polluted air, nor do they have to rack their brains memorizing Tang poems and Song lyrics. Yet those who grew up in America suffer from a more insidious form of psychological persecution : 1) a permanent cultural barrier, 2) a lifelong status as a second-class citizen (especially Chinese boys), and 3) a multitude of irremovable barriers to successful business ventures. In my opinion, the combination of these less apparent disadvantages constitute a very long-term form of pressure on children, so parents should at least make a real effort in understanding the concrete specifics of growing up in the United States. What's more, children should talk about these things, parents should listen, and not blindly deny experiences contrary to their beliefs in a selfish attempt to protect their dignity, and as a result abandon the child.
但是ABC在美国的生活普遍来讲并没有中国父母认为的呢么光荣滋润。就因为大部分ABC不和父母交流心声不意味着他们都活着比中国长大的孩子好。对的，ABC确实不需要呼吸中国污染的空气，也不需要榨尽脑汁披星戴月地被唐诗宋词。但是长在美国的ABC普遍遭受更隐形的心理迫害：1）永久的文化隔阂, 2) 终身摆脱不了的二等公民待遇（特别是华裔男生）, 及3）消除不掉的种种事业障碍。按我个人的看法，这些更隐形的弊端对孩子构成很长期的压力和迫害，父母至少应该深度了解一下孩子在美国的真实情况，多和孩子交流，多听听孩子的心声，而不要一味去否认这些负面因素，自私地为了保护自己的尊严而遗弃了对孩子的关照和协助。
1) Chinese kids who grew up in America suffer from a lasting cultural barrier. Chinese parents don't understand this because they've never experienced anything like it. Even though there are many positive aspects to America, it's not nearly as fair as the parents think. Even though ABCs fluent in English like white people, often surpassing them, they are still unable to enter mainstream American society because of their Chinese appearances. ABCs for the most part interact with other ABCs. Although it's not uncommon to have white or black friends during the early years, once they become adults you rarely see ABCs who can take part in white communities while being treated as an equal. If you look Chinese, it doesn't matter if you speak perfect English, you still won't be accepted in white society. Americans never wanted to see the Chinese immigrants as their own people. So Chinese parents should not be so foolish as to think that if only their children put in a little effort, they would integrate into white society. American civilization as a whole do not consider Chinese and white people as equals has created numerous multitudes of barriers in the form of stereotypes, which are immensely difficult to subvert. They think Chinese people are only good at doing menial work, have no ability to take leadership positions, no ability to express oneself, and no charisma. Lots of white people including actors and those on tv openly mock Chinese as inferior to white people. In American middle and high school in particular it is very easy for Chinese kids to be bullied by kids of other races. After entering American society Chinese suffer from more covert forms of discrimination. Taking into account all these factors, a Chinese American kid's confidence will at the very least be somewhat affected, and might also create seeds of larger problems which will last for the rest of their lives.
Due to the conditions mentioned above, ABC live in a very narrow subculture within America. Even if they grew up in America and speak English they will never be considered Americans by other Americans. At the same time they are unable to assimilate into Chinese society. When I was attending university I personally saw ABC being mocked by Chinese international students. Many Chinese international students mock ABC, and joke about the fact that though they look Chinese they cannot speak it. ABC are not welcomed by America nor are they accepted by Chinese, they cannot advance nor can they retreat, living in an awkward space where no group accepts them. Chinese parents have no comprehension of this sort of cultural predicament, but I believe they must accept that this problem exists, and not reject it. So many Chinese parents force their children to assimilate into mainstream American society, but today I want to tell these parents something: No matter how hard you try to assimilate, you will never succeed. Americans take one look at our Chinese face and take us for foreigners. Americans have never wanted to treat Chinese people as one of their own. So Chinese families must understand that assimilation into white society through effort is an impossibility. Assimilation is merely a delusion. Unable to assimilate into American society, but lacking Chinese societal or cultural support, ABC inhabit an awkward world. What's more this imposition can never be removed because ABC have already passed the period of natural language acquisition. This is a very serious problem and parents should seriously take into consideration the sort of harm this has on them. Birds of a feather flock together. Every person's sense of well being depends on their social circle. Humans all should have a sense of belong, a social group that won't discriminate against them. Parents who want to move to America shouldn't lightly throw away their children's "sense of belong" or "social circle." Without a support group, without a sense of belonging, most people would suffer from some kind of illness in the long term, perhaps even clinical depression.
由于上述的诸多原因，ABC在美国实际上就是活在一个文化狭缝之中。他们虽然长在美国，学的英语，但是永远不会被美国人视为真正的 American. 同时，他们也融入不了中国人的圈子。在我读大学之时，我亲自看到ABC被中国留学生嘲笑的丑相。很多中国留学生会嘲笑美国ABC，笑话他们为什么长的中国人的脸而中文一句都不会说。ABC 既不被美国圈子欢迎，同样也不被自己的中国人接纳，进退两难，无比尴尬，没有一个群体真正接受他们。这种文化隔阂和绝望的感受是中国父母没法了解的，但是我认为中国父母一定要意识到这个问题的存在，而不是一味的否认这种现象。很多中国父母一直逼迫孩子去努力融入美国主流圈子，但是我今天想让所有中国父母知道：哪怕你的再努力融入美国圈子，你终究不会成功的。美国人一看我们的中国面孔就把我们视为外人了。一个有中国面孔的黄种人，不管你英语再地道，是融入不进美国核心白人圈子的。美国人就从来没想把我们中国人当成自己的人看。所以中国家长可千万不要愚蠢得认为孩子稍微再努力一把就能融入白人圈子了。这只不过是个妄想而已 – 是几乎不可能实现的事儿。融入不了美国圈子，但是同时也失去了中国圈子的精神支持，ABC身处于一个非常尴尬的地步。况且，这种尴尬几乎没法解决，因为孩子在美国长大那几年已经耽误了他们学好中文的语言习得敏感期了。这是个非常严重的问题，移民美国的父母一定好了解这种处境对孩子有多大的打击。物以类聚，人以群分。每个人的心态健康实际上都取决于有自己的圈子。人都得有归属感，有一个自己不受歧视的群体。移民到美国父母不经意得就把子女这个很重要的“归属感”和“圈子”掐掉了。没有圈子，没有认同感，对大部分人的心理有长期的伤害，甚至能导致孩子患上抑郁症，轻身。
2) Status as a second-class citizen lasts throughout our whole lives: by spending the early years of their child in the United States, the parents inadvertently "severed" their child's ability to survive in his mother country. Though they do not realize it, by going to the United States they deprived their offspring the option of returning to China in the future. This is actually a very important option. Why? Everyone needs a homeland. Chinese parents are unaware they have this option. They went to America believing it was superior to China in opportunities and quality of life - this is correct. However the end result is that they still robbed their offspring of the right to choose between staying in America or going back to China. In reality they've condemned their kids to living a life as a Chinese, but only being able to survive in the West. This means that their kids will eke out a living in a white society under white leadership. ABC are commonly treated as second class citizens lower than white people, probably even lower than black people. Chinese parents can accept this because it is the end result of their own will and action. What's more, many parents can even return to their home country, so they think no matter how bad it gets in America, they can always have the "option" to go back home. But ABC are different. ABC have no option. They didn't do anything, yet their parents have made it so that they will always live in a society where they will be treated as inferior to whites, without even an option of escape. A person who has an option but doesn't take it compared to one who has no option at all are completely different. The older a Chinese American gets the more they yearn for a homeland, while having none. Chinese people don't accept them. Americans don't accept them. They have no home to return to. ABC have to bear the fact that they will always be second class citizens in an America that constantly discriminates against them for as long as they live. This is the true, miserable, reality.
To supplement with a bit more detail: American discrimination against Chinese men is particularly apparent. Most Chinese parents have no idea, but American mainstream white people have no respect for Chinese men. White people really like to joke about Chinese: that Chinese men are ugly, their body weak, small eyes, small penis, and so on. Chinese boys in America suffer from bullying and insults at an early age when the formation of a child's self-confidence is at its most vulnerable. ABC boys in the United States, generally speaking, have no social status to speak of, and find it difficult to find partners. As ABC grow up in the workplace and their community, they continue to be bullied by plenty of people. Coupled with the fact that in America Chinese have no say in politics, no politician represents the Chinese. We just bare the suffering while lacking even a channel to protest. Chinese men suffer disadvantages in every sector of American society and have no particular area of excellence. In this regard, Chinese girls are more popular with white boys, but the Chinese boys are not welcome. A survey shows that Chinese boys in the United States to have a harder time finding partners than white, black, and even Latin American men. So those with sons must be aware that bringing them to the United States is to sacrifice their dignity and status as men. This is immensely harmful to the self esteem of an ABC boy.
3) Regarding three, early immigrants who have no background in Chinese culture suffer a lot in their careers. The identity of ABC as out of place people has an immensely negative effect in the business, political, legal, innovative, and science sectors. This mainly due to the fact every one of these relies on interpersonal relationships, connection which ABC lack. They are not based on how high your scores are. Regardless, it is in this area that ABC are particularly disadvantaged, since they are unable to enter mainstream American or Chinese society. These areas that rely on customers, politicians, investors to expand. Hence under extreme competition, relying on good marks is absolutely useless. Due to the background of ABC, they are unable to interact with either white people or Chinese people. This naturally results in a bottleneck on their career options due to the inability to deeply intimate themselves with customers and their needs, as well as the inability to create mutually empathetic bonds. So parents should be careful with sending their kids to America. It might just just limit them in their career options.
I myself studied as an undergrad at an ivy league institution and finished my post-secondary studies in America, after which I entered the investment business in New York and Hong Kong. It was as I described, white people and Chinese who grew up in China mingled pretty well and were able to create social circles. They had bright futures ahead of them. Rather, ABC were the awkward ones. White customers didn't treat them as their own, Chinese didn't treat them as Chinese. To ambitious ABC this is the greatest problem. The ceiling that ABC have absolutely no way of dealing with, no matter how hard ABC try, because the neither mainstream cultures accept them. What's sad is that I'm surrounded by so many hardworking and capable ABC, but due to their status as ABC are disadvantaged upon meeting the ceiling. If your kid wants to become a businessman or politician in the future, you should consider the effects that an insurmountable cultural gap will have. Parents should understand that moving to America and sacrificing their kid's natural cultural background just to breathe fresh air is an extremely selfish thing to do. Parents should be mindful of what their kid will do after leaving the family and the combination of their status and identity. To a child, severing one's natural cultural roots is an act of irresponsibility and selfishness. The pain that these children will suffer in the future will be an indescribable, lonely, and isolating kind of pain.
作者本人就在常青藤大学读的本科，在美国读完了大学在纽约和香港的投行均工作过。本人发现的事实就是如此，白人和在中国长大的孩子都混得相当不错，可以搭建圈子，有锦绣前途可言。但是ABC却很尴尬，白人客户也不把他们当成自己人，中国客户也不认他们为中国人，对有野心的ABC来说这是个莫大的问题！这种天花板是ABC几乎没法克服的，不管ABC再努力也没用，因为两边主流文化都不认他们。可惜的是我周围好多ABC都是我见过最刻苦，最能干的人，但是就凭他们身份上吃亏而在好多领域都屡遭天花板。 如果你的孩子将来有可能想做生意或者从政，你最好慎重考虑一下孩子会遇到的这种无法逾越的一种文化鸿沟。 父母得意识到，来美国让孩子牺牲了自己的自然文化圈子，就为了能呼吸点新鲜空气，是极其得不偿失的自私行为。父母应该仔细考虑一下孩子以后长大离家出走之后的地位和身份纠结。对孩子来说，父母这么早就割断了孩子的文化根源是极其不负责任和自私（伤害孩子）的行为。将来孩子受的苦是说不出来的一种苦，没人能理解的一种孤独的痛苦。
Don't just think of yourselves and your desire to flee China while throwing your children's life and sense of belonging out the window. Don't think that just by going to America, studying will still be all that matters. In America I know tonnes of ABC with education in abundance but still became stunted in their careers. Then their parents not only did not understand what happened, they refused to listen to their reasons and feelings. In the end the kid becomes a lifelong loner with no path to take.
All in all, my aim is to share with you the true perspective of an ABC who grew up in America as a child. There is no free lunch in the world, don't think that just by growing up in the United States your children will be able to easily integrate into American society. Don't think that just because China has societal issues, they'll just magically disappear once you enter America. Letting your children grow up in America is a big challenge for them, and will leave deep psychological damage. In my opinion, might as well let your children live happily as a Chinese and grow up in China. Once they've grown up, they can choose to go to America themselves if that's what they want. Why are you so anxious to take them to a western country which holds Chinese people in contempt, where they'll live under the shadow of racial discrimination? For those who look Chinese, trying to integrate into western society is a futile endeavor. No matter how hard your kids try, no matter how good their English, it's still not a surefire way to enter American society. Because they look Chinese. Still, parents are so busy getting their kids to enter American society, they at the same time lose their kids' Chinese identity and background. This kind of moronic decision ends with the kid unable to return to their mother country. In the end the result is a child who is a foreigner in both countries, and in the future no matter how much China develops, the kid will be unable to live there and take advantage of being a Chinese. I believe that all the parents thinking about moving to America or giving birth there need to face the truth before making any such decision. Do not throw away future developments for the sake of temporary gains. Being an ABC is not one bit as glorious as people think. In fact it's quite awkward and full of hassles. Not worth it one bit. God created us as Chinese, so why not be proud of it, and be a proper Chinese rather than force your children to become something impossible like a westerner.
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.com 翻译：比木鱼 转载请注明出处
My God, this is what I been telling my parents. I'm not a ABC, I Immigrate here when I was 10. I was fortunate enough to find very good friend to support me as I grow up. If I can pick, I will choose to stay in China after college. But I am so disconnect with my China's relative. We used to play together, share food and toy, and run around the street. Now I missed their wedding, the birth of their children, and funerals...
Did the writer mention at all WHY Asian women have it "easier"?
——“In this regard, Chinese girls are more popular with white boys, but the Chinese boys are not welcome.”
——He's woke as fuck. He knows that white males are running a sexual imperialist scheme against Asians. Desexualizing the males while hypersexualizing the females. That is the hallmark of colonization.
——I saw that part, and agree that he is woke as fuck. It's well written, I just don't want that part to be misinterpreted as "Asian women are just better looking than their male counterparts so they get a pass" sort of bad interpretation
God created us as Chinese
The heavens you mean. Ah God, as something studying Taoism right now, the idea that going against one's innate nature, ie. moving to another culture and trying to assimilate to another society not yours, really hits home.
——No, he meant god, or higher being up above, or some kind of divine being. 天 means heaven or sky. If he meant heaven he would have wrote 上天.
——Ah, thanks for the clarification. But culturally speaking, do you think the heavens would be more appropriate than God?
Wow this is so well written, covering all grounds basically.
As a 1.5 gen (semi-fob) I got cold shoulder/avoid like plague treatment from ABCs when I first came here. It had led me to be unsympathetic to the ABCs struggles back in the days. Especially after college when some of these same ABCs would suddenly show interest to befriend me and my 1.5 FOB friends after they went through the awakenings of finding roots in homeland blah blah (on the line of "you can't make it in with white people now you have to settle with us fobs"). I've came to understand a lot more now (thanks to this sub). It all started with that one article called "Paper Tiger' from a few years ago, it really opened my eyes to the plight of Asian American male and now with this article that's written in Chinese. I really appreciate those who want to connect with their Asian identities, and really wonder how I can help.
——Most ABC go through this process. They go to America and look at the white dominated society, try to assimilate, and put down other Asians to try to fit in. Then they realize they were duped into being used as pawns by white people and by then it's almost too late.
——Yeah, whites did a good job of brainwashing Asians into believing they are inferior. Any Asian that puts down other Asians is asking for mental problems in the future. Take a good look in the mirror buddy!
After looking carefully ar ArmorUSA's post, i feel that he writes vey realistically, and his Mandarin is excellent. As a first generation migrant, we should be proud if the next gen (1.5) can write as well as him. Those who criticise his english, call him a bastard, and other insults, should feel shamed.
MY thoughts while reading was "Good child, if my own child can write as well as you, I would buy him first class tickets back so that his uncle can hug him, and his aunt can give him a good meal.
What the author writes is reality. There is no falsehood. The haters are nitpicking his english, he is not the definition of ABC, etc. If Obama, who is half-white can identify as black, how can you say he's not ABC? (Translator note: Context - Author is a 1.5 gen, migrated when very young)
Perhaps the ABCs, and your children is not the same. Maybe they are very sociable. Maybe they married a white woman. Maybe they have a white Secretary. However, this does not dismiss the demographic of armorUSA. From statistics, Asian boys are the most discriminated against. If you look at intermarriage data, you can tell that Asian girls marry white boys, and Asian boys, at the most, they marry (translation unclear? Seems to be a slang?)
Marriage is an indicator of social standing, and Asian boys and Black women are the lowest.
What pisses Asian men off the most is that even Asian women discriminates against them.
For us, the first generation who have such strong cultural ties, to treat someone with such great Chinese language ability with such coldness, is something which is very wrong. To the extent we force the author to reply in English. Aunties and uncles (refering to themselves), why do you use such heavy words?
对于这样的弱势小鲜肉。 我们作为上一代，对于文化认同感这样强的下一代，对中文这么棒的下一代，冷言冷语，实在不应该。甚至逼着作者用英文回复，更是不应该。 大妈大叔们，你们是怎么下得这么重的口？
I lived in America for 20 years. These are the few points I agree with Armor USA
1) It is harder for Asian males, both in the workplace and the dating realm.
2) It is important to have professional connections. Especially for law, finance, politics, etc. All these are specialised work that is not easy to understand. A
3) As minorities, thin skinned or shy people will suffer. Extroverted people, with thick skin, DGAF what other people think of you, will not suffer.
4) As first generation migrants, we do not know the feeling of being minorities. Even after migration to America, we still have roots back home, so its hard to understand someone with no roots.
What I disagree with ArmorUSA
1) People cannot choose how to be born. Every generation has its own troubles. Child, this is life! Dealwithit.jpg. As a Han male (slang for masculine man), you have withstand heaven while being rooted to the earth (being unshakable) Compared to the children back in China, you do not have the national exams. You do not face earthquakes, like the people in tangshan. You do not face war, unlike the old veterans. Compared to the Koreans, you do not have to be forced into group thought like them. Your parents have also suffered countless nights of labour to raise you. You are but a youngling, so why do you murmur against your elders so much?
1）人不能选择自己的出生。 每一代人有每一代人的痛苦，每一群人有每一群人的痛苦。孩子，这就是你的命！你必须得去面对。 作为男子汉大丈夫，需要顶天立地，不是哭哭啼啼抱怨。尤其不能抱怨自己的父母。比起国内的孩子你还没参加高考呢。比起唐山人民你还没经历地震呢。比起老布什，你还没去战场呢。比起朝鲜人民你还没学主体思想呢。 父母生我养我者也。要不是多年前的那天晚上他们老人家不辞劳苦激情澎湃，哪里来的今天的你？ 也许你和朱悟能一样不定你投胎转世到哪里去呢。 你个小兔崽子还抱怨个啥？
(saying how wenxue people are old fogeys) Wenxue people are old and rigid, and they are not sermonising to you, but are envious of your youth. If you want to find a sympathetic ear, go to the MIT BBS (probably the Chinese one?)
2）文学城的读者年龄老化严重。大妈一张口，地球抖三抖。大叔一声吼，风沙满地走。 年纪大了，观念容易僵化。 一僵化就容易和你较真。 叔告诉你，他们不是在讲道理，是羡慕你年轻。 作者如果想寻找知音，应该去买买提mit bbs 那个论坛去, 到同龄人中去，到80-90后中去，会找到很多知音。
2) In my experience, there is advantages to being a minority. You can be a bystander in the affairs of the majority, watch the drama, but it doesn't affect you (probably referring to politics?) If you can change your state of mind, instead of being a participant (in politics/business?), you can be an observer. Why do you insist on being a participant?
3(4?)) The author is a sensitive person. Maybe its better for him to migrate to a place with more Asian Americans? Like Canada? Maybe he can divert his attention to things that are not too serious, and things that make you happy? Perhaps IT, research, start a business, return back to your holiday for a tour, etc.
3）感觉作者是个内心敏感的人。或者搬到亚裔人多的地方更好一些。加拿大啦，加州啦。 或者改行做那些圈子不是特别重要的事情可能会让你更加快乐。 比如IT，比如科研领域，比如回国创业， 再比如哈，做个小地主之类的。。。完了，又回老本行了。哈哈。
Us Asians in the West have a duty to strike at the heart of White Supremacy, but unless the Chinese government collapses and the country is plunged into Civil War I don't want any future Chinese or any Asian child to endure the psychological trauma of being Asian in the West.
His post was 100% accurate, but I don't agree we should be discouraging Chinese people from immigrating. We need more Chinese to immigrate, not less. What I advocate for is when they do come over, be mentally and physically prepared for a different battle.
This is the #1 reason why I say we need to form Asian communities to welcome them in real life. If you live in a neighborhood, be a leader and set up parties for Asians, especially for the one's that don't have friends or are newcomers here. They will appreciate it and feel included. You've given them a start, a new path and support. Throw Asian community parties and events to get together and introduce them to your friends.
Don't just stay within your cliche, this is probably the most frustrating aspect of Asian groups I've encountered. When they have a set of friends and I come over to say hi, don't be a douche. Invite to chat.
——Exactly, we need more Asian-Americans but they have to proactive socially and politically. Asians need to develop a coalition that looks out for their own first and foremost like Jews and blacks have been doing for a century. The problem is Asian-Americans are such an easy target for racists because they have no pride or identity in their own culture and have no sense of collective struggle.
Not Chinese, but as someone who's mixed race his essay really resonated with me. People take it for granted that they have a home country full of people who look like them. A place where they belong, where they are seen as an individual instead of a stereotype. Parents like to go on about how their children will have "the best of both worlds", but that's little more than wishful thinking. In reality, being mixed is a disadvantage in every stage of life.
Have more trust in your Asian brothers. We are not that fragile. If we are prepared the racism is managable. We just need a supportive Asian community.
如果现在中国是一个比印度还烂的国家，他们会觉得自己很幸运成了美国人。 中国强大起来了，就不甘心自己在美国的地位，反而失去了内心的平衡。 哈哈，有意思。